This one is more personal than usual. Bear with me.
For a long time, I have been on the edge – preparing and maintaining my armor, using offence as the best defense. In other words, I reacted impulsively instead of taking the time to respond from my inner peace and being. I let the worst of me drive my reactions instead of my inner self. And the reason I believe is,that I am not always connected to my inner self. That I don’t always hear what my inner self is longing for.
I remember a moment in a close relationship where I was accused of shutting down during conflict. And honestly – they were right. I did shut down. But what looked like withdrawal from the outside was actually me trying not to explode. The problem was: I never learned to do anything in between. Either I shut down or I shoot back. Neither worked. I was unhappy and so were the people around me. I wasn’t being honest with myself nor my relationships. I let my ego get into the driver’s seat.
One could ask: why is it not ok to act – as obviously that’s coming from you as well. And technically there is no problem as such. My experience is just that it often leads to conflicts and it leaves me unsatisfied. Often, I don’t want to provoke a certain reply, I don’t want to shoot back, I don’t want to start a fight or a silence. I want to respond as my truest self. Being true to myself meant for me: I can give my best to others, while at the same time respecting my own needs and boundaries.
Yoga is one of the tools that has helped me massively on this journey. On an inner search to finding my center, my calm. Knowing what I can give just as well as what I need to recharge and be able to give. Yoga is a tool – according to my guru Swamiji, yoga “is an aid to the practice of the basic truths in all religions. God dwells in all. Yoga is union with God, union with all.” Translated for me it’s about finding the part of you that is you – your core, your true being. The part that doesn’t need to grow, to change, to improve. That just is. And that represents the core value of who you are. How beautiful is this thought? To have a part already within you which doesn’t need to perform. That is your guidance.
The big question now is probably how to find that part – how to hear your inner voice. For me yoga is a huge part of that journey. Creating stillness through asanas and meditation. Practicing pranayama to activate the body or detox. Sometimes it is about creating stillness. Sometimes it is about clearing out old beliefs and thought patterns. Sometimes it is simply about being with ourselves. Whatever it may be for you – asanas, meditation, breathwork, pranayama – these could be tools to help you slowly uncover that inner source. That inner core that makes up who you are. One might call it soul.
And if yoga is not your thing – that’s fine. You don’t need a mat. You don’t need to become a spiritual Yogi. You can start with simple exercises like a stretch: for example, start with one breath before you reply. One second of pause. That’s it. The tool doesn’t matter. The intention does.
Nowadays I am taking a second – especially in emotional discussions – to make sure I am responding from within and not reacting. I am taking a moment to reflect and stay in the moment, as uncomfortable as it may be. And I try to reflect whether it is my ego shooting back, or whether this is who I am giving out my best. That tiny moment to sit with the uncomfortable, to be still and reflect, is a moment of gold. A moment worth being uncomfortable with, worth feeling all those annoying emotions.
The Mindful Hustle is not just about productivity or career. It is about being a full human – ambitious and soft, structured and open, driven and still. This article is proof of that. And there is more to come.
“The Self is not the individual body or mind but that aspect inside each person that knows the truth.”
Swami Vishnudevananda